Me? Competitive? I Blame My GPS…
Something interesting happened last week.
As I arrived at the car park to start my afternoon dash up the mountain, I noticed (with a touch of dismay), that I’d forgotten to put my GPS watch on.
Yup, I’m one of THOSE runners. I record all my runs.
I tell myself it’s because I like to look back and see what I’ve achieved in a week. Or a month. It’s how I keep a watchful eye on my “progress”.
I’m not competitive. I don’t care about my speed, time or pace.
But, I’ll confess, I do feel perverse pleasure in gloating over my total ascent (the height I’ve climbed/run) on a monthly basis. There’s my ego talking…
Back to my run last week.
After I noticed the absence of my trusted GPS, I told myself to suck it up and just enjoy the run. The world would not end. And anyway, there simply wasn’t time to go home to fetch it.
So I did. Suck it up that is…
And here’s what was so interesting (refer first sentence above)…
I felt really FREE! Liberated!
I felt as though I had escaped from the watchful eye of Big Brother.
There were no rules. No expectations. No attachments to any outcome.
And yet, I hadn’t been consciously aware that I had ever implemented said rules/expectations/outcomes in the first place.
I stopped to ogle at the beauty around me whenever I chose (we’re heading into our rainy season so all the streams are running – yay!). I ran at whatever pace felt comfortable. I simply dilly-dallied. No pressure…
I guess it was simply one of those insidious processes that grows quietly in your subconscious without you noticing. Much like those background apps I yabbered on about in my last musing.
When I originally bought my GPS (way back when..), I’d started capturing the details of my runs because it was fun. And interesting.
But somewhere along the way, I started to measure. Compare. Possibly even judge (yikes!).
And this had altered the vibe of my runs. Without me even realizing it.
So what now?
Cold turkey without my GPS? (gasp of horror!)
Ok, I compromised..
I wear the GPS, but I cover it with my sleeve and ONLY look at it once the run is complete.
I’m also consciously detaching from the readings.
Because those numbers don’t mean anything about me.
They’re simply a record of a run at that specific time. That’s all.
My worthiness remains the same.
My significance remains the same.
It ALWAYS does.