In a conversation with a friend recently, he mentioned how an acquaintance of his had recently entered a new relationship. Nothing wrong with that, right?
But then he went further to add that he could “see” that the relationship was DOOMED..
Why? Well “she” was needy, and “he” had narcissistic leanings.. It could only end badly..
Or such was his opinion.
It made me ponder..
How often do we find ourselves in similar situations? Not only regarding relationships, but in any area of life. We see friends/family making choices that we’re convinced are “wrong”..
And we feel a strong urge to warn them. Tell them why it won’t work. Why it’s a bad decision.
And how do we know this?
Because we’ve most likely make a similar choice at some point in our lives. Or maybe someone close to us did. And that choice ended badly.
Yup, if you’re a parent, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.
That desire to “save” them from some inevitable pain/heartache.
But here’s the thing:
It’s by having these experiences that we challenge ourselves.
It’s how we learn exactly what we’re capable of.
I’ve had some interesting relationships over the years. And I mean REALLY interesting..
And I know that back then, those close to me often rolled their eyes as I embarked on yet another “questionable” liaison. Some even voiced their disapproval (I never listened..).
But I can honestly say that each and every relationship has been such an incredible learning experience.
An opportunity to explore more about ME.
Who I am.
What my values are.
What I want, and don’t want.
Learning to love myself enough to walk away from my comfort zone was invaluable..
Yes, I was super-uncomfortable at times. But then THAT’S when I was learning the most!
Seriously, if we could just allow ourselves to lean into the discomfort.
Allow ourselves to figure out what the misery is trying to tell us about our FEARS.
My truth is this: I value EACH AND EVERY RELATIONSHIP I’VE HAD.
If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing. Nope, nothing..
And that’s why I’m ok with my loved ones making “questionable” choices.
I simply don’t interfere.
Besides it being none of my business, they don’t need my input.
I RESPECT that they have the right and the ability to figure stuff out themselves.
That it’s not about the OUTCOME, but rather the EXPERIENCE of the journey they’re taking with this new person/venture. With ALL of it’s ups and downs.
It’s how they’ll grow, expand, be more..
Isn’t that what counts?
Isn’t that a BIG part of the human experience..?
So next time you feel the urge to “save” someone, STOP.
Let them walk their path.
Just BE there.
That’s all anyone ever needs.