If you’re a sensitive soul (like me), there’s a good chance that you avoid your exes at any cost.
Because we sensitives generally have fairly emotionally charged break-ups..
You hear about couples who agree to end their relationships over dinner with a glass of wine – then shake hands and move on (yup, they do exist..).
That’s not us..
We yell, plead (sometimes), sob, and yell some more. Before making a dramatic exit..!
Yup, we sensitives employ our FULL range of emotions for the task at hand.
Which means we generally need a while to recover to an acceptable point of logic and sensibility. And it’s often a prolonged process (depending on certain variables..).
In a nutshell, it’s draining…
Which is why it makes sense to AVOID bumping into said “ex”.. That would just set us back at square one. And feel yucky.. Wouldn’t it..?
Well, maybe not.
In fact I happen to believe that bumping into anyone is never an accident. There’s ALWAYS something to be gained from it.
So from that perspective, here are some suggestions on how can it be a GOOD thing..
Firstly, we get to measure just how far we’ve come since the break-up.
Putting yourself in front of someone who you know triggers your fears can be uncomfortable BUT there’s a payoff: you get to see whether those triggers are still as active or whether you’ve expanded past them.
Secondly, if the triggers are still super-sensitive (IOW if you still feel the urge to throttle them), that’s your emotional guidance system telling you that those fears are still lurking. Which means unless you do some work to process and push through them, they’ll show up in a new relationship. Which would be crappy..
Of course, HOW you process your fears is up to you. It may be on your own, or you may even feel inspired to reconnect with your ex (yup, I’ve ticked that box a few times).
Remember, when you shift your perspective, you show up differently. And other people look different too. That could shift any relationship into a new zone..
As long as your focus is on YOU and YOUR fears (not trying to get anyone else to change), you get to choose the “how”.. A step up is a step up, no matter who you’re with.
I guess it’s really about trusting that if people show up in your world, there’s a reason. So use it.
If they don’t, then that’s okay too.
Trust that tools you need to grow and expand
(whether they’re the human-kind or not),
will show up when needed.
Let go of too much efforting and controlling.
Some doors are better left closed, whilst some remain open for a reason.
Simply let it unfold.
And it always does. Perfectly. If you allow it..