Have you ever excitedly planned something ahead of time, only to find that when the time comes you’ve lost interest..?
I used to do it regularly.. And then I’d wonder where my enthusiasm went to. Why I’d changed my mind for no apparent reason.
I often fell into this trap back when I still entered trailrunning events.
Of course in those days I still ran in a posse (aka group of mad running buddies). Training runs, fun runs, events – we did them all together.. And each year we’d excitedly plan which new/current events we’d enter. All of us, together..
Which we did..
But here’s the thing.
If I’m completely honest with myself, by the time the events arrived, I was secretly glad that all the training was over. Because that’s the thing about running events – there’s the TRAINING to do first..
And I, in all my wisdom, seemed to prefer ultra distances. And, as my ego expanded, so did the distances that I ran. Which meant LOTS of training. Whether I was in the mood or not (I won’t even mention the weather conditions..).
Yup, you can imagine. By the time the event finally rolled around, I was pretty much over it. All the training plus the subtle pressure I put on myself to perform well, took it’s toll.
Inevitably I’d arrive on race day just
wishing privately that it was over.
So what went wrong?
What changed from that point of initial enthusiasm to the feelings of disinterest and dread on the day..?
Well, the short answer is ME.
Yup, we’re constantly growing, expanding, becoming more.. Physically, spiritually and emotionally.
Which means that what I liked and enjoyed 6 months ago, may not be what I like and enjoy now.
So when I sign up for something that sounds super-fun now, but it’s only happening waaay into the future, there’s a good chance it won’t feel so super when it rolls around. You with me..?
And that’s ok. It’s completely normal.
Where we often trip ourselves up is when we try to FORCE ourselves to feel how we felt originally.
We try to become who we WERE and ignore who we are NOW.
And, even worse, if we can’t muster up that same excitement, we lambaste ourselves for being ungrateful.. Or for giving up. We tell ourselves we’ve done something wrong.
Yup, it’s a vicious circle my friends..
So what now?
Well, here’s my take..
I prefer to live as much in the moment as possible.
Which means socialising at short notice and running when I’m inspired to (it helps that I now run exclusively on my own..).
Quite simply, I’ve learned to never plan too far ahead (with obvious exceptions). And if I have planned ahead, I allow myself the freedom to change my mind – irrespective of what other involved parties may think.
This is MY experience and I choose to make it as enjoyable as possible. Even if that means declining invitations at the last minute, or surrendering an event entry the day before the event.
Yes, it goes against society’s accepted etiquette, but I’ve detached from that too. I walk in my shoes, not society.
So there’s my challenge to you today.
Live more in the moment.
Honour how you TRULY feel
not how you THINK you should feel.
Growth is good!
Expansion is good!
It’s that simple..