Is it possible that ARGUING has VALUE..?
Our interpretation of something, will determine how we feel about it.
I know, I say that a lot.
But last week I experienced an event that really highlighted the relevance of that simple statement.
Here’s what happened..
I was chatting to my daughter – as I do on occasion. She was expressing her dislike about something to do with our current lockdown – as is her right.
I could hear she was unhappy and annoyed which triggered my “mom gene”. I felt the need to “help” her so I broke my cardinal rule.
I offered her advice when she hadn’t asked for it.
And she was pissed. Which she expressed rather vehemently.
So I responded by soothing (possibly interpreted as patronizing?), rather vehemently.
And when that was rejected, I got annoyed (with a sprinkling of self-righteousness..).
But, as time passed and I got over myself, I got to see the value in this little spat.
Because it’s NEVER about the other person.
Nope, it’s ALWAYS about me.
AND HOW I INTERPRET THE SITUATION..
My daughter is who she is. And how she feels and interprets things is simply none of my business.
BUT, how I perceive an event is something that IS my business.
It’s something I CAN control.
And if it feels uncomfortable, that’s a sure sign that I’m perceiving it from a place of fear. Which I can decide to change – if I so choose. Awesome, right?
So, in this case, my daughter’s response threatened my role as a mom. In that moment, I believed that her response meant that I was a bad mom. That I wasn’t valued.
I felt unworthy as a parent.
And, I’ll admit, that’s a cross I’ve carried for most of my adult life.
But, that’s the old story. The old way of thinking. And that’s an old trigger..
These days I believe that our worthiness is simply something we need to ACCEPT about ourselves. It’s always been there. we’ve just PERCEIVED ourselves as unworthy. It’s how we’re programmed. Mostly.
And this was my chance to practice the NEW story.
Because NOBODY ELSE can determine your level of worthiness. Ever.
It’s OUR CHOICE whether we buy into someone else’s opinion of us.
So, I’m grateful for these little arguments (with whoever shows up as my “teacher” in that moment).
They allow us to practice, practice, practice..
And each time we take a step closer to embracing more of who we truly are.
Yup, we’re AWESOME..!