Have you ever tried to “talk” yourself happy?
Or, in other words, intellectualize yourself out of feeling bad..?
Not sure about you, but it NEVER worked for me.
Back when affirmations were the buzz-word, I would try and “affirm” myself into a good mood.
I am strong and beautiful just doesn’t work when you’re feeling like an ugly cow..
Now, I’m not saying that affirmations in general don’t work.
But there’s a trick to it (which I’ll elaborate on a bit later..).
I recall driving to a job I hated many years ago. It was my daily rush-hour commute, I was late and feeling exceptionally sorry for myself.
Not being one to wallow for too long, I decided to talk myself into feeling better.
Which sounded something like this:
I’m a successful person with the job of my dreams
Yup, I said it over and over again. Loudly..
And besides wanting to snigger at how silly I sounded, it just didn’t work. I simply didn’t feel any better.
Which, back then, I didn’t understand.
But I’m doing it right..! WHY don’t I feel better..? I thought (also loudly..).
Well what I didn’t understand at that point was this little golden nugget:
It’s not WHAT we say,
but HOW WE FEEL when we say it..!
Yup, it trips us up, often..
It’s the VIBRATION that we embody that gets reflected back to us.
And when I was gallantly trying to affirm myself a happy life, not only was I scraping the bottom of the proverbial emotional barrel, but the WORDS I was speaking were just completely unbelievable from my point of reference at the time.
And if I didn’t believe them, vibrationally I was wasting my time.
So what could I have done differently?
Well, in the same situation today I would do the following:
ACCEPT that I’m feeling crappy. It is what it is..
UNDERSTAND that emotions are fluid. They’re a product of whatever I’m focusing my thoughts on.
Consciously RE-FOCUS my attention onto something neutral. Like music. Or a podcast.
And once my mood has shifted into a better place, THEN and only THEN start to tell myself a new and better story.
Because from there, I can begin to believe it.
And if I BELIEVE it, then maybe I’ll be INSPIRED to try something different.
Which could be quite EXCITING.
And excitement feels way better..!