Dependency. An EMPOWERING Perspective..
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I’m all for feeling EMPOWERED..
And if you’re a regular reader of my musings, that’s no big surprise..
It’s been my experience that one of the biggest threats to feeling empowered, is the concept of DEPENDENCY..
Yup, it’s a cringe-inducing word, right..?
Interestingly, it’s a topic that’s popped up fairly often of late with some clients. For different reasons.
Because dependencies can show up in any aspect of our lives.
Relationships with loved ones, pets, money, food, work and anything else can become dependent – even co-dependent. If we choose to allow them to.
My own journey through life has often been plagued with dependencies and co-dependencies. Which is no big shock if you’re always looking OUTSIDE of yourself for validation. Which as a young adult, I did. A lot.
Yup, whenever I felt insecure, afraid or unworthy, I would attach to a person, idea or event to justify my value. Often without being consciously aware that I was doing it.
Inevitably I’d end up sitting in a puddle of self-pity wondering what I’d done wrong when I STILL felt insecure, afraid or unworthy..
Why..? Because back then I didn’t know that there’s NOTHING OUTSIDE OF US that can ever fill that perceived emptiness we feel. You know, that idea of lack. That we are incomplete. Less than..
Nope, it’s a INSIDE JOB.
And I won’t lie, shifting from outside to inside can be challenging. It’s a gradual process with many emotional layers to peel away.
But when we KNOW there’s another way, a more EMPOWERING way, we’re driven to seek it out. In whichever way it presents itself.
And the first step is identifying those areas of our lives where dependency (or co-dependency) has taken root.
Ask yourself: without …… in my life, how do I feel..?
If your answer falls into the mild discomfort category, don’t sweat it too much.
But if your answer presents feelings of devastation/life is not worth living? Well, that’s worth digging a bit deeper..
Believe it or not, being dependent is a CHOICE.
Just know, there are better, more empowering options.