On Epiphanies, Red Wine and the Ego..
*Watch on YouTube
Raise your hand if you like wine.
Yup, me too..
It’s easily my tipple of choice, rain or shine..
But my love of wine is not sophisticated. Nope, I’m not one to really notice the “notes of melon with underlying strains of guava”.. In my world, I taste it, I like it, or not.
It’s that simple.
And it has to be white. No red, definitely white.
Why am I telling you this?
Well, a few years ago I inherited a case of vintage red wine. Each bottle was over 20 years old. Which is a big thing amongst the wine fundis, right?
I’d never owned old red wine before. Why would I? Which meant that this was quite a novel experience.
Yup, for the first time I belonged to that “red wine collectors” posse (for whatever that’s worth)..
I was possessive of it. It was mine…
If you’d asked me back then what I planned to do with the wine, I would have shrugged absently. Keep it for a special occasion maybe?
And so it’s been lying quietly on a shelf in a cool area. Waiting..
Then Covid happened.
And our power-that-be decided in their collective wisdom to ban the sale of alcohol as part of the lock-down effort (don’t even get me started on this..!).
That was in March.
And yes, you guessed right. After a few weeks, my white wine ran out (sob!)
Never fear I thought.. I have loads of red! Old red!
This was my “special occasion”.
Well, I got through 2 bottles over a period of 2 weeks. And to tell you the truth, I didn’t appreciate it. It was just wine, and I drank it because I had it. In defiance of the ban.
Then I stopped.
Because here’s my truth. Why imbibe anything that you don’t enjoy? Right?
Whilst reflecting on this a few weeks ago, I had an epiphany of sorts.
I was holding onto this collection of wine to satisfy MY EGO.
Plain and simple.
I don’t like red wine, it’s wasted on me.
Yet old programming urged me to keep it, because it was trendy.
Cool people have red wine collections.. (I know, eye-roll..)
So I made a decision.
I would give it away. Just like that.
And I did. To peeps who appreciate red wine.
And it was EASY.
Because I know that owning a red wine collection adds nothing to my value, in any shape or form. It simply means NOTHING about me.
But my ego disagreed.
Luckily, I’m getting used to ignoring it. Which isn’t hard when you recognise it’s subtle devious little plan.
Yup, the ego shows up in strange and unexpected moments. It’s a sneaky little bugger.
Designed to keep us wary and fearful.
Always fearful of what others think. Or what they may say.
It would keep us believing that we need outside validation of our sense of worth.
When, in truth, we don’t.
And we never did.
EVERYTHING we need is within.
And always has been.