If you’re a regular to this page, you’ll know that I often prattle on about our insatiable need to CONTROL our surroundings. And just how LIMITING that experience nearly always turns out to be..
I was reminded of this just last week. Here’s what happened..
I’d finally found a philatelist who was prepared to buy my late father’s stamp collection (it’s taken me AGES to find someone..!). So in a fog of excitement, I loaded the crates (yup, crates) into my car and headed off. It was an 80km round trip but most of the trip was coastal so I was looking forward to it.
I was about half-way there when I felt a slight (but definite) shudder from the engine of my car. And as the journey progressed, so too did the regularity of the shudder. Until it shuddered non-stop.
I won’t bore you with the details, and yes, I did manage to get home in one piece. But I knew my trusted vehicle needed some TLC. Urgently.
It was then that I felt the familiar urge to fix the situation begin to bubble up. Yup, my inner control-freak was awake..
So I called my regular mechanic only to find he was still closed for the holidays! And I began to panic (just a little)..
You see, I NEED my car. Sure, I can go a few days without it, but not a whole week!
So, what to do? How could I find a new mechanic who ticked my boxes so early in the New Year (I’m pretty fussy about who fiddles with my car)?
Now I know from experience that I NEVER achieve anything when I panic. In fact, the more I try to MAKE things happen, the more they don’t.
So I took a deep breath and decided to LET IT GO and see how it unfolded.
And only then did I start to receive inspired ideas on possible routes to investigate. One of which was to reach out for any recommendations on a neighbourhood platform that I belong to – something I’ve never really done before.
And would you know it? That’s how I found Dean.
Dean’s a mechanic. A very GOOD mechanic. Who lives just down the street. And charges way less than most because his overheads are low (Bonus!)
And did I mention that Dean’s also my hero? Yup, he is…
So, the moral of this little tale is this: We think we know how something needs to unfold. And then we attach to that specific outcome no matter what. Believing that unless THAT outcome happens, we won’t be happy.
And when things don’t go our way, we believe it’s WRONG. And we try desperately to CONTROL the process to achieve the intended outcome.
And sometimes, if we push and effort and struggle, we do actually achieve that outcome. Eventually. But the journey is mostly an unpleasant one filled with resistance.
It’s also often the case that we stay so focused on that one intended outcome, that we miss many other new (and awesome) opportunities that could possibly lead to an even BETTER outcome that we hadn’t even considered.
In my example above, it was only when I let go of the panic and the urge to control, that a different (and preferable) option showed up. Effortlessly.
It’s the same story every time.
Control is limiting.
Just get out of your own way.