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A good friend of mine recently made some BIIIG changes in her life which, not surprisingly, rather rudely hauled her ass right out of it’s comfort zone.
No arguments from me, I stand and applaud anyone who voluntarily shifts bravely into the unknown.
Yet, in a conversation we had on the weekend, she (rather sadly) shared how instead of support from her inner circle, she’d received skepticism and concern.
I felt compassion, but wasn’t horribly surprised. Nope, not at all.
But here’s the big question: are they wrong?
Shouldn’t our friends have our backs?
Surely they’re the ones who should be cheering from the sidelines? Right?
Two things come to mind for me..
Firstly, people don’t like change.
Especially when it’s not their choice.
Add decades of like-minded friendship into the mix and suddenly all sorts of fears are triggered.
Am I being left behind?
Am I wrong? Should I be considering the same changes?
Will our friendship survive this?
And quite honestly, how can anyone be supportive when they’re full of fear?
Secondly, sometimes, even after decades of friendship, our values and beliefs move in different directions.
Which means that we suddenly find that friends we’ve always found as easy company, now simply aren’t. Conversations don’t flow as easily, opinions start to differ.
And we might even find we start inadvertently avoiding each other.
Okay, so now we better understand the WHY friendships can falter..
But how do we fix it?
Or do we..?
Well, that’s entirely up to those involved.
Personally, I don’t believe anything is broken.
It’s simply a product of our own personal growth.
Because, if the true versions of ourselves no longer resonate as closely as they once did, then maybe it’s simply time to expand our horizons.
Which doesn’t mean the friendship has to end, but maybe we could allow it to shift to something more appropriate and suitable to who we are now.
And at the same time we open ourselves to new connections. New opportunities.
Remember, we’re fluid beings. Which means our relationships are fluid too.
Some last a lifetime, whilst others don’t.
It’s not wrong, simply part of the human experience.