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I’m not good with authority. In any shape or form.
Tell me to do something in a bossy way, and I’ll probably do the opposite. Just because I can..
Now, if my daughter’s reading this, mark my words she’ll be laughing hysterically.
Why? Because when she was growing up, I was the QUEEN rule-maker..! Yup, I could give it, but not take it.
But I digress..
So here’s a question: why do we have rules? What inspires them? And are they necessary? (okay, that was a few questions..)
Rules are what we turn to when we experience something unwanted. Something unpleasant. And we decide that in order to prevent that thing from re-occurring, we’ll make a rule..!
Because then we’ll be safe and happy.. Right?
Here are some examples:
A spontaneous evening out with the gang on a weeknight results in a work-day hang-over..
New Rule: no socialising during the week.
Your favourite jeans are feeling rather tight..
New Rule(s): Gym 4 x a week AND no sugar (ever again)..!
You catch your partner cheating on you..
New Rule: Never trust romantic partners again..
Now those are quite “heavy” examples, but if we think about it, we’re constantly creating all sorts of “little” rules each and every day. All with the sole purpose of avoiding discomfort.
What time we get up in the morning to avoid being late.
How many cups of coffee we’re “allowed” in a day. (Ditto wine in the evenings).
What types of food we allow ourselves to eat in the name of health.
And that’s before we leave the house..
Out in the big wide world we have rules that govern social behaviour.
Rules for whatever mode of transport we choose as we navigate our journey to work.
Next? Office rules. Socially and structurally. (Even what clothes we wear).
You get my drift here?
Now what’s common in all the examples above is that every rule is born from fear.
Yup, fear of feeling uncomfortable.
And whilst following oodles of rules may limit our immediate suffering,
it also limits our EXPERIENCE..
Yup, too many rules can result in a small (and often boring) existence.
And none of us were meant to be small (especially by choice..!).
So maybe it’s time to ease up a little..
To allow ourselves a little slack..
Maybe it’s a good time to simply ALLOW..
To be SPONTANEOUS..
To trust in our own abilities to navigate potentially choppy waters.
To know that there’s VALUE in ALL experiences – including the uncomfortable ones..!
Yup, getting messy at times is how we really get to KNOW OURSELVES.
To build our confidence.