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If I asked you the question: what would make you happy..?
What would you say?
Most of us could easily start listing the items, events or circumstances that we believe would tick the proverbial happiness box. Wealth, exotic foods, relationships..
Yup, we’re taught from a young age that our No. 1 goal in life should be the ultimate pursuit of happiness. Right?
Because when you’re happy, everything feels good! (and who doesn’t want that..?)
Interestingly, few of us ultimately find that illusive happiness elixir.
Yes, we all have fleeting moments of happiness. But how exactly do we hold onto it. Like permanently..?
Well, first let me confess: I was that person.
I truly believed that my life was hard. That somewhere along the line I’d drawn the short-straw and therefore my life randomly sucked.
I also believed that if I could just get that promotion/boyfriend or lose weight/get fit, THEN I’d be happy..
Now here’s the funny part..
Looking back, I DID get that promotion. AND the boyfriend.
And I DID lose weight, AND get fit..
And did they “fix” my life..?
Nope, not at all..
With the promotion came more responsibility and stress.
The boyfriend triggered insecurities and drama.
And I lost weight by running. A lot. Which brought injuries and heaps of self-judgement..
So what did I learn?
Well, it wasn’t immediate. Insight rarely is..
But I realised that all of those things I pursued as my ticket to happiness, existed “out there”. They were pursuits that were external, things I believed had the power to alter my feelings.
I’d unwittingly formed “attachments” to these items, thus giving them power over my sense of wellbeing.
It’s the classic “if/then” syndrome.. IF I get the promotion, THEN I’ll be happy..
Which has never worked for me. Ever.
Ultimately, I’ve learned that there is NOTHING outside of you that can offer sustained happiness.
Because happiness is our NATURAL STATE.
We don’t have to FIND it, it already EXISTS within us.
All. The. Time.
We’ve simply learned how to cloak it with layers and layers of fear.
And as we choose to slowly let go of our fears, our natural happiness bubbles up.
Usually in the form of acceptance and contentment.
This I can promise you..
Never forget, fear has value. It’s not wrong.
It allows us to birth DESIRES FOR MORE..
It also allows us to truly KNOW OURSELVES.
Which, in my humble opinion, is the whole point (isn’t it?)..
Embrace your fear, honour it, then let it go..